What’s your take?

1} Never you depend on your
boyfriend like he is
your father, show
him that before he met you, you
are comfortable
and without him you
can still be comfortable.
2} Do not detaste a man because
he is not rich.
rather remember
that, he who is rich 2day may not
be rich 2moro
and he who is poor
may not be poor forever,
Richness is like a table
fan, it Rotates.
3} Never you say real men
doesn’t come to you
when all about you is
fake, dresscode, lifestyle, your
name, background
e.t.c
4} Don’t say men are just after
your body when you
show off all your
body parts. The way you dress is
the way people
address you.
5} Do not say you have dated him
for years yet he
doesn’t want to
move the relationship to the next
level, my sister
every relationship
must not end in marriage.
6} Do not say all men are the
same due to
heartbreak, remember
even the bible said: as our facial
aspect differs
same goes to our
charracters and lifestyles.
7} Do not hate relationship
because of past
experience, rather know
that every relationship is a lesson
and I tell you,
never you close your
eyes because of the bad things
you have seen
because you will never
know when the good one passes
by if your eyes are
close, don’t give
up on love.
8} Do not be in a hurry to marry
because as God
knows your birthday
same goes to your death day, he
knows all our
profile because we are
only but pencils in the hand of
the creator, when
your time comes it
will happen just like death.
9} You say guys are not serious
with you, when the
background of your
pictures are always in a hotel
room, Joints and
inside different cars
when your not a mechanic, on
facebook you have
more than 4353
friends, you are on bbm with
over 1000 bbm
contacts, your on 2go with
more than 2000friends not to
talk of Badoo.
Whatsapp, Eskimi, and
many more. Which means you
are emotionally
confused.
10} Always know that things
happens the way God
wants it.

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ABC’S OF MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS (F.Y.I. They Are Thirty Three (33))

ImageA – is for Arteries.You know, the things that my ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn’t care for me – a twit. She was only after my money and could have given a shit about me.

B – is for Bitter. Who? Me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have two (2) children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!!

C – is for Call Ya Later. She wouldn’t. She never had before.

D – is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E – is for Eating Like A Pig. Remember when I took her out and she said, “I’m not hungry.” So I figured I could take her to a nice place because I was able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than Ssekyanzi (Remember Ssekyanzi, the one who was doing Sciences at E.S.S.S and used to step in his food?) So I flip the bill and was broke for the next two weeks and she wondered why I was unable to call her that week and go see movies.

F – is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if I can even stand to look at her.

G – is for Gun. And yes, there is a waiting period.

H – is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, I figure it out.

I – stands for I Still Hate Her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favours.

J – stands for Jimmy. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn’t Jim have a nice car? Doesn’t Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jimmy. Jimmy is my mortal enemy.

K – stands for Kill.

L – is for Love. It’s a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.

M – stands for Mephistopheles. That is who she worked for.

N – stands for Necrophilia. She didn’t move very much. Did she?

O – is for On Top. When she was on top, she had another O word.

P – is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now suing me for a few hundred thousand shillings a month.

Q – is for Quitter. She couldn’t last.

R – is for Rich Little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it.

S – stands for Suffer. That’s what she made me do.

T – is for Torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured me with the truth. She also tortured me with lies.

U – is for Understatement. Saying I Hate that Bitch is an understatement.

V – is for Voluptous. That is the primary reason I was dating her in the first place.

W – stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

X – is for Xylophone. Because X is always for Xylophone.

Y – stands for You Suck! Remember when she yelled that at me.

Z – stands for ZIPPER. That’s what I got my hair stuck in while trying to get dressed up too quickly while she yelled “QUICK, They are Home.”

. – stands for Period. Which is a couple of weeks late because she lied about taking what P stands for. It also means you won’t be getting any for a week.